Is this a sign?

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big believer of signs.

I’m not talking about the ones lining the sides of our roads telling us whether to turn left or right, I’m talking about the much bigger ones – the ones sent from the Universe, guiding us to turn left or right in life.

What? I hear you say. Has she gone a bit woo woo? Let me explain. 

It was my Lovely Friend A who introduced me to the work of Gabby Bernstein. A ‘Spirit Junkie’ based in America who believes we all have guides in the universe. So, when we need a bit of, well, direction we ask them a question and they will send us a sign.

Please. Stay with me.

I was at a stage in my life when I not only needed direction, I needed all the help I could get. Life was changing, unravelling in some ways and I found myself at those crossroads, the ones pointing Major Life Decision in every direction.

“Go on,” Lovely Friend A said. “Just try.”

So, I first listened to this interview with her on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place. I’m a big fan of Fearne Cotton, so if she was on board as well as Lovely A, it was definitely worth a listen.

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/gabby-bernstein/id1353058891?i=1000497690131

Of course, the idea of the Universe being greater than us is nothing new, but the way Gabby Bernstein talked about it struck a chord. In the interview she said ‘pick a sign, something you don’t see all the time. Ask a question out loud, and if the Universe is listening it will send you this sign to show you, you are on the right track.’

Feeling a little silly, I said, “Okay Universe, come on then, let’s see if you’re here.” I asked a question out loud, and politely requested they send me a pink car.

The specific question I asked related to a decision we were making about our son’s school. ‘Are we making the right decision?” I asked.

You could argue, turning to the Universe is not the most adult way to make such a decision about his future, and of course we’d already done all the grown-up research, but a bit of back up wouldn’t hurt, would it? So out went the question and I waited.

Nothing. Days went by, not a pink car in sight. 

Not only did I think the Universe was a) not listening, I also b) started to rethink our whole decision. When I told my husband about my now even more increased turmoil, he rolled his eyes.

“Ellie, there is no such thing as signs.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell my Lovely Friend A.

I looked, waited and waited some more. Nothing.

But then something happened.

I was having a conversation about the said subject of schools with some friends, when I heard a roar. I turned to see a bright pink Ferrari driving past.

“Rob, look,” I nudged him. He still wasn’t convinced, but I was.

Over the next few days, the school subject was coming up a lot. We saw four more pink cars as we discussed it.

Five pink cars.

Okay, Lovely Friend A. I’m in. If only as a back-up, but I’m in.

The reason I tell you this is I wanted to share something which happened as I wrote my third book, The Secrets of the Coffee Club.

It was the book I was most nervous about re-writing. It was my most rejected book when I had sent it out to agents five years earlier, and some of the comments were tough. I say some, I really mean all.

I wrote my chapter plan and met with my book editor. In this new revised plan, there was an event, it had been the same in the first version and I’d liked the idea.

But over Zoom, my book editor shook his head. “Ellie, what is it with you and these events?”

I didn’t understand. He wasn’t suggesting I take it out, was he? This was after all crucial to the whole plot.

“But I need it in. I have to.” I tried to keep calm.

He shook his head. “No, you don’t.”

I didn’t understand.

“It’s a distraction,” he told me.

“But then what happens?” I asked.

“Their stories,” he told me. “The stories of your characters, they are enough.”

The book had started as Secrets of a Gin Club. I had decided to make it about a Supper Club as the agents had told me the gin didn’t really go with the themes of the book. But again, the book editor shook his head. We discussed different possibilities until we landed on coffee.

“What? Are you suggesting it’s a coffee club?” I almost laughed.

He nodded. “A coffee club is enough.”

I trust my book editor and his opinion enough to listen, so I took out the event and put in the coffee. But I as I wrote my new chapter plan and began the writing I was struggling. It all felt very well, flat.

It was when we were in Porthleven in Cornwall for a wintery break in February, however I started to wonder if I could really carry on with this. Flat, difficult, something felt wrong with this book. My husband and sons listened over his pints and their game of Uno.

“Mum,” my sons said. “You need to ask for a sign.”

So, I did.  While running along the dramatic coast I turned to the vast sea and the sky. Surely the Universe was listening here. “Okay then, if you are, am I on the right track with this book? Please, just give me a sign. I’ll know it when I see it.”

I paused. “And it needs to be before we leave here.”

Now, I admit this was a bit off-piste of the rules, not asking for something specific, but forgive me, I was frazzled and I hoped the Universe would understand.

The days passed and more Uno was played. “Nothing.” I told them as the pints were sipped, the cards dealt.

And then something happened.

We went to a café called The Twisted Currant.

We had the usual argy bargy about where should we sit.” Here there, oh anywhere, let’s just sit down.”

So we picked our table and sat down and as my husband did, he moved a cushion.

“Ellie.” He said. And then we saw it. It was the sort of moment where time stopped for a second, a light crackle of magic in the air.

This is what was behind the cushion:

Women, stories all surrounded by coffee. I don’t know who the Porthleven Pals are, but they sound brilliant and I want to know. I also know their stories are enough.

When I looked at the café’s website, I saw it had previously been an inspiration for another novel.

It was my sign. 

I returned to my writing with more confidence and felt at last on the right track.

So, wherever you are as you read this, if you are wondering, pondering, questioning or doubting, of course it is up to you.

Signs? Rubbish or not rubbish? This is for you to decide.

I know for me - pink cars and coffee signs have at least cheered my soul even on the rainiest of days. And sometimes this is enough.

But whatever you do decide, please know this, because this is true.

Whatever it is you are pondering or deciding, whatever crossroads you face or turns deep down you know you need to make. Wherever you are and whoever you are, your story is always and always will be enough.